A few days later, I was chatting with a dear friend of mine at church. She asked how I was doing, and how I was feeling about becoming a mom. Of course, I was excited and we talked about fun baby stuff. But with a heavy heart, I also described how much the story about the other baby passing away was troubling me.
My friend replied with the best, truest comment I
could have heard in that moment.
She reminded me that God numbers all of our days,
and that we are all part of His plan.
Whether we live or die is up to Him and Him alone. My friend emphasized that I could not and
should not try to carry the burden of wondering what God's plan is for my
child. Finally, she encouraged me to
take comfort in the fact God knows when our time will come to be with Him in
Heaven. After a brief moment of conflicted consideration, these thoughts
brought me great relief. My friend had
spoken exactly what I needed to hear, and I was powerfully reminded of God's
truth to in a way that calmed my fears.
Of course, had Gavin not been born it would have
been incredibly painful. But anxiety
about all the what-ifs while pregnant would not be helpful. Knowing that my pregnancy was in God's hands
and being reminded that each of our days are numbered by a good God that loves us was a tremendous relief to
me.
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